I’m a Christian who believes 100% in God. I believe the Bible as the word of God and would quickly drop my idea if I find out it contradicts the scriptures. Yeah! I wanted to start on this note so you have no doubts.
Some days ago I was overwhelmed with many things. I knew somehow I was going to make it through but I wasn’t so sure how long it was going to take so I resorted to finding strength for the next hour and the next and the next and soon one day would have gone and then two and the three and then this too would be completely over.
Now I live in a house with more than ten people most times during the day, the number reduces as work comes to a close at evening. But you know that saying “you can be alone in a crowd?” I was sinking.
I could feel strength leave me; not physically though. I was becoming more and more susceptible to things I would have easily shaken off.
“Street for no bad oh” I thought to myself; that’s a way of saying yesterday seems better than today; a subtle presentation of the idea that returning to the past will somehow help soothe the issues of the present. But of course I was fine.
It so happened that I refused to seek counsel because I thought I understood everything that was going on. I saw it all from the first strand till the complex twist it had now become. Somehow, it was my fault. While it was welling, I thought I could handle it and I got lost. So lost left and right appeared the same to me. I had tampered with a lot of structures (in faith, in relationships, in my academics). Messed up a lot of things man. I was down low. Broken, confused yet giving what appeared to be a ray of hope to the few people in my space. Telling them how “everything will be fine shortly just ……..” and after that, my life would stare me in the face and it’ll go “physician heal thyself”. You know that feeling yeah? You’ve probably been there once or twice.
So I decided to fix myself one brick at a time, but man these terrains are harsh. The forces that traffic here don’t pause to breathe. It takes more than a determination to stand to stand.
I kept on trying. The more I tried, the more I fell. I had to be okay not because I was, but because of the people observing me. But in the real sense of things, I was declining. I started adapting certain mantras like “God no go shame us”, “Pikin wey no get helper suppose get sense”, “person wey never chop no dey buy dog”, “person wey no show you road no suppose know your location” just to communicate some kind of hope to my overwhelmed soul that there is chance of light somewhere along the way and if I am able to make it through today and tomorrow, somehow I’d be fine in the long run.
Then Lock-down came (plus a series of other events that had taken place before the lock-down which might be inappropriate in this text). I could no longer leave myself at home and escape to get some air in a different environment for a whole day. I could no longer escape the nullifidian and forlorn thoughts that crept into my head more often than not. I had to discipline this thing.
I started seeking God. Yes! Yes! Intensely this time because I was now at breaking point. I needed to see Him. I picked up from where I left off evangelism and soul winning, deep bible study (not looking for what to preach), prayer schedules, listening to veteran servants of God as they teach on God’s word and on one of these days, The Lord began to reassure me some things, the words were “I see your effort; to please me, to live right; to fulfil purpose and I see your constraints and struggles although I didn’t send them your way, you have to be prepared for the days ahead. Stay with Me, I will bring you through”. Just after that, two scriptures highlighted in my heart 1. Deuteronomy 31:6 be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” I had always known that passage but it feels so good when passages like this come up after moments like that. Like a loaded gun in a knife fight, I felt much advantaged.
2. 2 Corinthians 1:4 who comforts us in all our tribulation that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. The reason we have any comfort in our lives is to comfort others with the same comfort with which we have been comforted. Then I thought to share.
So guys, you may feel somewhat messed up, not having a clear sense of direction or purpose or maybe you’ve jumbled the whole process up. The Lord says to inform you in case you’ve forgotten that He will never leave you nor forsake you. That my friend is something to hold on to. Only see to it that your desire for God spikes through the period of your issues and after you have been tried, you will come forth as gold.
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